No Dinner for You (the kids, not Tom & Tanel!)
Often, our biggest problem when we’re trying to discipline our kids is that they act up the most just AFTER finishing fun things (e.g., after they already ate the cookie at the grocery store, after they got a toy for being such sweet children, on the ride home after putt-putt golf or the beach or the park, etc.). At that point, there’s nothing to take away that will have an immediate effect on their behavior. Telling them they won’t get to go to soccer or choir practice next week, or that we won’t take them to putt-putt ever again seems completely unproductive and ineffective. So that leaves us with just gritting our teeth and sending them to bed when we get home, having a big screamfest, or vowing between ourselves that we’re never doing anything fun for them again - until next time.
Last night, though, we had a golden opportunity to mete out some badly-needed humble pie, with no sacrifice on our part for a change. We were getting ready to eat dinner - a meal that they themselves requested, pork szechuan. They are usually pretty well behaved at the dinner table - they both like to eat and are accustomed to eating at restaurants, so they generally have decent manners. They were sitting at the counter and Patrick was just getting ready to put food on their plates when he saw our son spit right at his sister. Patrick immediately sent my son to his room, and he went, crying. After a couple of minutes, Patrick asked my daughter what she did - we have learned in recent times that very often whoever is getting caught doing something they shouldn’t, the other child very likely started it with the exact same behavior. Very hesitantly she admitted that she spit at him first. Before he had a chance to yell at her, I suggested that the kids should both stay in their rooms during dinner, and that they could eat peanut butter sandwiches later. My daughter ran to her room crying while my son was protesting from his room. It worked! Of course, it is not always a sure bet - we have plenty of meals where they would be just as happy to eat PB&J.
They were devastated that they missed out, as well they should have been - Patrick’s dinner was really yummy, and we enjoyed a nice, calm, quiet dinner.
They came out very quietly a short time later for their PB&J sandwiches, and there was no fighting for a change. They got themselves ready for bed without a peep, they read books, and went to bed without a fuss.
Hopefully we’ll have a couple of well mannered little diners for a while 
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We totally did this tonight to Punkalicious. What a tantrum he threw! We’ll talk about it on a future podcast.
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Nice one! Great solution. It is all about seizing the moment and when it works, it is perfect. Not that they’ll never do it again but at least you know you made an impression unlike all those times that you yell and scream at blank faces.